I was in prayer… I wanted to hear from the Lord about “worship”. I began to ask Him: What does worshipping You look like? What is worship that is real to You? Vine defines “worship" as awe, devotion, honor. I sense the Lord’s prompting to worship Him in the Spirit. "Enter into worship with the Spirit", I hear Him say.
I began to talk to my spirit. (Through Scripture, the Lord has opened up that category for me, and I am willing to walk through it if the Lord gives it.) I begin saying to my spirit, “Bring me to awe." I'm missing "awe". I want it. I'm pressing for it.
I had just read about Francis Su’s story when he was in grad school working on his PhD in Mathematics. He was struggling at one point, floundering in his program. A cold and insensitive comment from his advisor came crashing down on him: "You don’t have what it takes to be a successful mathematician." The comment assaults him at the very core of his sense of worth. He is wounded and demoralized by it.
And his mother had just died. So in the throes of his circumstances, he needed an extension on some work in the class taught by another professor. He approached this professor with his predicament, and the response that he got came as a great surprise: "I’m really sorry about your mother," this professor says to him. "Let me take you to coffee.” Just a simple gesture, but so life-changing in its impact on him. It was an experience of grace that would forever alter his perception of what’s of value and worth - about himself, his life, and all other things.
In the midst of this reflection, the Lord suddenly but calmly tells me: “I have coffee with you every morning.” Hot damn! That did it for me. Finally, for that moment, my soul got to “awe”. The worship that I entered into that moment was heavily laced with “awe”.
The things of the heart are so intriguing. Who can maneuver through it and know what it takes to tend to it? No one, but One who knows it well.
